5 Reasons to Put Your Own Mask On First

February 8, 2024 | By David M. Wagner


Leadership is primarily about other people – influencing, guiding, and supporting them.

For many nonprofit leaders, that means putting the interests of others ahead of their own. That’s certainly admirable. But when we disregard our own needs, we risk serious detriment – to ourselves, our teams, and the missions we serve.

There are real impacts to neglecting our physical needs – like sleep and food – and psychological needs – like safety, belonging, and esteem. And yet, prioritizing self-care to address those needs can feel…selfish.

Illustration of three oxygen masks that have dropped from the ceiling of an airplane

Here are 5 selfless reasons for leaders to pay attention to their own needs:

  1. Model healthy choices. A nonprofit leader was having trouble convincing their staff to take mental health days during the peak of COVID-19. When they inquired about this trend, their team identified a surprising obstacle: no one wanted to let down their leader, whom they saw working without taking a break. If you want others to prioritize their self-care, lead by example.

  2. Increase capacity for authenticity. We’re more likely to slip into unhealthy and less compassionate patterns of thought and behavior when we’re feeling depleted. (Hangry, anyone? Or is it just me?) Being kind to ourselves, acknowledging our own emotional state, and otherwise taking a step back to attend to our needs can restore the physical and emotional energy required to be the best versions of ourselves as leaders.

  3. Restore your emotional reserves. The risk of burn-out is real – and high – in mission-driven work. Even if we manage to be authentic and caring toward others, neglecting our own needs will eventually deplete the reserves that help us keep going in the face of difficulty. Granting ourselves permission to set boundaries that protect our energy, even if that means sometimes de-prioritizing our work, is critical to maintaining our long-term capacity to serve our mission.

  4. Be open to constructive changes. It is hard enough to step away from the day-to-day demands of our roles to take stock of how things are going, consider the big picture, and make strategic corrections. Similarly, it’s a challenge to hear legitimate criticism with an open mind. Both are necessary for setting up our organizations for long-term success, but are also nearly impossible to do when we feel overwhelmed, distracted, or depleted. Getting ourselves “right” is a prerequisite for righting anything else.

  5. Make better choices. Our bodies are designed to divert resources to satisfy our unmet physical and psychological needs. As a result, our ability to make level-headed decisions diminishes with stress and other unresolved issues. We need to be whole before we can guide our teams well.

In short, taking the time to attend to our individual needs makes us better leaders. And if you struggle with self-care, you’re not alone. I coach individuals and teams of leaders to amplify their mission impact through effective leadership practices like this one. Setting a free consult is a great place to start prioritizing your needs!


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