Master this Critical, Counterintuitive Leadership Strength
March 21, 2024 | By David M. Wagner
Close your eyes (after reading this sentence!) and picture a stereotypical “leader.”
What characteristics did you imagine they had?
There’s a good chance, if you grew up in a western culture, that you pictured someone strong. Decisive. Confident. Maybe charismatic.
Did the word vulnerable come to mind?
Vulnerability seems anathema to the leadership stereotypes above. But if you think of a specific leader that has meant a lot to you, you may recall other traits that align better: Empathic. Authentic. Curious. Compassionate.
Strength through Vulnerability
Counterintuitively, being vulnerable can increase your perceived strength as a leader – not because you appear impervious, but because you lead effectively despite (or even because of) your humanity.
Despite artificial intelligence taking over all our jobs, you know what career field isn’t talked about being on the proverbial chopping block?
Leadership.
Because none of us wants to follow a robot. So don’t be one.
The always-on, supremely confident, apparently perfect leader is a myth. Appearing to be one isn’t fooling your team. It’s probably just stressing them out.
But when you share something intimate about your background, your state of mind, your needs, or your growth path, you invite others to lower their guard, too. As a result, they’ll be more likely to:
Be transparent with their own concerns and feedback.
See to their own needs (increasing engagement and productivity).
Trust and follow you.
Practical Vulnerability
Some leaders I work with have shared legitimate concerns about appearing too vulnerable in a way that either places a burden on their team or risks undermining trust in their leadership.
I think it’s helpful to differentiate between helping others understand you and trying to provoke a reaction. The first is important to share with your team. The second relates to a need we should seek to fill in our support systems (friends, family, coaches, therapists).
Here are some examples on demonstrating vulnerability, rather than dependence:
Personal events – Be candid if something in your life is affecting your ability to show up and be fully engaged. Share as little or as much as feels appropriate. When you need sympathy or a chance to vent, turn to your support systems.
Growth opportunities – Let your team know that you’re working on improving a particular skill, like managing your stress, and invite them to hold you accountable for specific behaviors. Use your support network to work through insecurities when you need validation.
Doubt and uncertainty – Be open about concerns you have about a decision or plan. Invite your team to share their thoughts and brainstorm alternatives or risk-mitigating strategies. Keep self-doubt and a need for reassurance in your support network.
It takes courage to be vulnerable as a leader. And your team will reward you with their feedback, engagement, and trust. I coach leaders on skills like practicing vulnerability that put people first, which is critical to creating a strategic organization. Set a free consultation to learn how I can help you elevate your leadership.